From the Deepest Depths of SHOT Show Uselessness: Ice Pick Gloves

The NSSF was nice enough to provide me free eggs and bacon with the caveat that I’d go to the new product center and look around for some cool things to write about. Nick had assured me that there wasn’t anything worth looking at which was flat out false – because ice pick gloves.

Legal issues aside, I can’t even begin to imagine the scenario where this ends in anything but a grand jury indictment. Maybe, just maybe, you slip on the icy sidewalk leading up to your front porch and drag yourself to the front door using only your hands. Otherwise – I got nothing.

Comments

  1. anonymoose

    Ow.

  2. Joe R.

    Do they have the finger thing that goes up (to work the smart phone screen)?

    1. robby

      I believe the proper technical term is ” Barrel shroud/ shoulder thing that goes up”.

  3. Logan

    They’re for ice fishing, if you break through you wont need to try and grab your picks to pull yourself out.

    1. Michael

      Beat me by mere seconds…

    2. What About Bob

      My instant thought too. I have a pair of picks in handles meant to be worn around the next while ice fishing.

      If you think you need them, you probably shouldn’t be out on that thin ice.

  4. Michael

    Use #1: For ice fishing, if the ice cracks and you end up in the water, so you can pull yourself back into the ice.

  5. Vhyrus

    For California, of course.

    No weapons here, officer… just my nice warm driving gloves…

    1. Geoff PR

      Looking at that lower pic, I imagined St.Trayvon with those on doing a ‘ground-n-pound’.

      And I suppose they would be good to have on for those ‘Ice Road’ truck drivers…

  6. IME SHOT Show is 50% clown shoes, 25% quality products, 25% Asian knock offs, and 25% “Calling this clown shoes is an insult to clown shoes”.

    Yes that is 125%, that is because SHOT Show is overloaded with stuff.

  7. Joseph Quixote

    They are for ice fishing. Honestly not a bad idea. You ever tried to pull yourself out of a frozen lake? Not fun..

    1. Ralph

      My grandmother threw me into a frozen lake once.

      Once.

      1. Mike Betts

        But did she stomp on your fingers when you tried to pull yourself out?

      2. Klaus

        We wondered what happened to your granny.

  8. PDW

    Those would be great for demonstrating disapproval at someone cutting in line in front of you.

  9. No one of consequence

    Ah! Another step on the path towards Mandalorian armor!

  10. strych9

    Great for anyone who spends time out on the ice.

    If you fall through a frozen pond or lake it’s almost impossible to get out without such a device if your feet don’t touch bottom. Growing up where I did most of us would run a cord through the arms of our winter jacket with a pick-type device like this on each end of the cord (usually a length of thick dowel rod with a headless nail super glued into it) so that if you did fall through the ice you could self rescue and didn’t need someone with a rope to come get you out. Out there by yourself the chances of surviving more than a few minutes once you fell in were very slim. Superior is a damn cold lake in the summer and the water in that area is much colder in the winter. Get out fast or die.

    I assume that’s what these are for. If they’re being marketed as a weapon then the company is retarded.

    1. tsbhoa.p.jr

      in that area, the lake is still liquid at 31 degrees water temp.

      1. strych9

        That depends. On the Western Coast of the U.P. it doesn’t take much to freeze because the ice is mostly made by spray.

        I’ve read of places in Superior that can get to 25-28F and remain open water due to fast moving water driven by winds and currents. I have no idea if that’s true or not because I’ve never gone looking.

        I do know it takes one hell of a winter to freeze the entire lake over. In the 17 years I lived in the U.P. that happened once. My parents lived there nearly 30 years and their one experience with Superior freezing over was the same year I remember.

  11. Avid Reader

    Illegal in Massachusetts, New York, and California. Soon to be joined by Maryland and Connecticut.

  12. Chadwick

    Positive lead connected to the right glove, negative lead connected to the left glove, and let’s play patty cake! Just run the wires up your sleeves to a battery in a backpack.

  13. NineShooter

    No link to the company, for us northern-plains dwellers? Fail!

  14. Ralph

    This gizmo could come in handy for chopping stuck-together cubes out of a bag of ice.

    Martini, anyone?

  15. Hayabusa

    Has anyone mentioned yet that these are for ice fishing?

    First…?

    1. RocketScientist

      Literally 50% of the comments above you….

  16. Frank

    They are great for when you lock your keys in the car.

  17. Sean in Tampa

    How does one catch fish with ice? How do you keep your beer cold once you’ve used the ice to fish with?

    1. John in Utah

      Shut up, Florida! ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. NineShooter

        Florida Man strikes again!

    2. Lotek

      Silly,you don’t fish “with “ice. You fish “for” ice. Farm raised ice is for beer, wild caught ice is for margaritas ๐Ÿ˜€

  18. PeterK

    Now we just need those ice pick boots and your mall ninjas will be fully equipped for climbing walls.

  19. WalterJ

    A journalist that rushes to conclusions is a terrible one. Par for the course on this blog….

  20. I was.. ensnared… by these guys for about five minutes this past Thursday. Why?

    Well, because Gun Craft Beer is a real thing and was 2/11$ on the show floor. (The FAL was best.)

    I live in Georgia. We don’t get a lot of ice. So the pitch they went with was full on self defense and neighborhood dog murder. I listened to the entire pitch, again, because Gun Craft Beer. They gave me the full pitch, pushing hard for any sale they could get. And in spite of me pointing to the little camera icon on my media badge.

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